This may or may not come as a surprise to you, but balls of floof everywhere have their eye on one job and one job only: the job of pulling Ole Saint Nick’s sleigh.
The push for reindogs started with the advent of dress up antlers and red noses. As humans dressed up regular Rufus after regular Rufus, tranforming their fur pals into red-nosed Rudolphs, they began wondering who exactly the fantastical Rudolph is and what he’s all about. And once they watched his films and read his literature, realizing how cool his flying companions are and why humans have this strange habit of leaving treats beside the fireplace that are not for dogs, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer became an icon amongst canines.
It was at this point that eager sport hounds, sled pullers, and little dogs alike started to think about a Christmas revolution, one retiring reindeers in favor of reindogs, and thus bringing dogs to the North Pole.
It’s a marvelous idea that I’m in favor of, which is why I’m writing my own letter to Santa that goes a little like this:
We want reindogs! Yes, you read that right—reinD-O-G-S.
It’s time you give your hooved friends a rest and entrust your sleigh to the dogs, as us pooches have been equipped for this job for quite some time and you haven’t even noticed! Luckily, however, you have me, Barkley the talking dog, here to educate you about the benefits of trading deer for dogs.
First things first, we are the best listeners around, as we can be trained to do everything from dancing the polka to playing the harp! And so you see, it is not far-fetched to imagine an impressive contingent of fantastical flying hounds at the helm of your sleigh.
Second things second, we’re compact. Envision a sleigh being hauled by 100 dogs or more! You could use as many as you’d like and have a way less clunky ride!
Third things third, we are undoubtedly man’s best friend. And seeing as you’re a man who spreads joy and love, why not have a whole army of joy and love around you all the time? (Not trying to knock your deer, but you gotta admit that dogs are so much more cuddly!)
Fourth things fourth, there are so many rescue dogs who could benefit from this job! You could adopt them and give them a furever purpose… How cool is that?
I could elaborate more, but I’m sure you totally get the point and have lots of other letters to attend to.
The only thing I have to say now is… Bring on the reindogs!
Lots of ruv,
Since we’ll probably have to wait till next year to see if Santa gives us our big gift, I’ve provided some reindog photos below as a motivational gift to my ambitious furry friends!